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Men vs. women in real estate negotiations



Recently, Realtor.com wrote an article titled: ‘Why Women Might Beat Men at Negotiating a Real Estate Deal.’ Of course, as a male real estate agent, I was intrigued by this article title and by how polarizing it is. Obviously, I dug in!


Now I know that this would generally be a touchy subject, so I would like to preface my article by informing you that the writer of this article, Kimberly Dawn Neumann, was focused on masculine negotiating techniques vs. feminine negotiating techniques and not just men vs. women.



The truth is, anyone can be a good negotiator; however, there are some things that Neumann points out that will kill a deal.


DON’T BRING TO THE TABLE:

EGO – As Einstein said, “More the Knowledge, Lesser the Ego, More the Ego, Lesser the Knowledge.” The deal is not about you, so don’t make it about you.


ATTACHMENT – For a deal to work, everyone at the closing table must feel like they are walking away with a good deal. You don’t need to prove yourself. Just make sure everyone is happy.


REACTIVITY – A calm mind will make the best decisions. Don’t react with rash decisions.


NOT LISTENING – Come on. How do you expect to negotiate a deal without knowing what your client wants or needs?


JUMP STRAIGHT TO BUSINESS – There is a bond that must be achieved with each client. With this bond, comes trust and respect. People first, business second.



Assertiveness – Not to be confused with aggressiveness. Being assertive gives the client peace of mind and proves that you know what you are talking about. True confidence comes from knowledge.

Rapport – This business is all about building an actual relationship with your clients. You cannot get to know someone if only business pours out of your mouth.

Empathy – In my opinion, this is the most important negotiating skill. If you can empathize with your client, and the client on the other side, you will gain insight into what will seal the negotiations.

Flexibility – Not everything goes as we planned. We must be able to adapt to the changes in a situation.

Intuition – Good negotiators are able to pick up on verbiage and body language cues. This enables them to read between the lines, and have a better understanding of their client.

Trust – Open up to your client and always be transparent. Trust must be formed both ways and this is where it starts.

In conclusion, my biggest takeaway from the Realtor.com article is:

Be completely aware of yourself and your clients. Having an understanding of your role in this process is crucial, and knowing what your clients tell you they want is easy. Uncovering what your clients need is the difficult part, but that is what will build a relationship and set you apart.



I work in residential real estate, which is where my experience lies. The world of commercial real estate is far different, and it’s easy to imagine that difference. Generally, I work with clients who are purchasing a home for their family, thus, the home buying process is very emotional. Commercial real estate is all business, and in business, there are no emotions, only numbers. However, I believe that the traits above will kill any deal no matter the circumstances.


By far, the best negotiating techniques in residential real estate would be feminine. Men are, by nature, more aggressive, more competitive, less empathetic, and less emotionally open – which, in an emotionally charged process, is not the best way to go about negotiating a deal. So here are the attributes of a good residential real estate negotiator as outlined by Neumann.





BRING TO THE TABLE:

ASSERTIVENESS – Not to be confused with aggressiveness. Being assertive gives the client peace of mind and proves that you know what you are talking about. True confidence comes from knowledge.


RAPPORT – This business is all about building an actual relationship with your clients. You cannot get to know someone if only business pours out of your mouth.


EMPATHY – In my opinion, this is the most important negotiating skill. If you can empathize with your client, and the client on the other side, you will gain insight into what will seal the negotiations.


FLEXIBILITY – Not everything goes as we planned. We must be able to adapt to the changes in a situation.


INTUITION – Good negotiators are able to pick up on verbiage and body language cues. This enables them to read between the lines, and have a better understanding of their client.


TRUST – Open up to your client and always be transparent. Trust must be formed both ways and this is where it starts.


In conclusion, my biggest takeaway from the Realtor.com article is:


Be completely aware of yourself and your clients. Having an understanding of your role in this process is crucial, and knowing what your clients tell you they want is easy. Uncovering what your clients need is the difficult part, but that is what will build a relationship and set you apart.

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